C25Ow

Before I start, you should know about Lynn. She's raising money for the Susan G. Komen Walk for the Cure, which she'll take part in. Go here before you read my self-interested rambles, mmmkay?

Okay, wow. Why is Week 2 so much harder than Week 1?

The minute I started running, my entire body felt like it was full of sand--heavy, capable of moving, but not of its own accord. I stopped running 10 or so seconds before the ending signal twice, and completely skipped the 5-minute cool down. Yeah, I know, but at least I stretched.

So obviously, I'll be redoing Week 2, Day 1 until I get it. There's no point in my moving on to Week 3 when I so obviously need the extra time on Week 2!

Also, all running pants should come with drawstrings so you don't show your underwear to old men. They should also come with pockets so you don't put your iPhone/Running Prompt podcast in between your boobs at an uncomfortable angle.

Chub Rub and Other Sensations

Sensation #1: Shock!
Week 1, Day 3 DONE! I had to write that first, because I don't think I would've had the guts to say it later.

Sensation #2: Whupped.
I feel so completely whupped by today's run, it feels like I didn't do it. Ironic, because if I hadn't done it, I wouldn't feel this whupped. Today's run was the hardest (physically). I didn't experience nearly the self-defeating mindfucks I had on Wednesday, which helped me push it through today. I wouldn't have been able to otherwise. (Note to self: do not eat a baked potato before you run.)

Sensation #3: Brickiness.
My legs feel like bricks. It was seriously an effort to be able to break on the drive home. I'd be completely convinced my legs were bricks if it weren't for that unpleasant sensation on my thighs. Yes, I'm sure we know this feeling well, which brings us to

Sensation #4: chub rub!
I've been wearing pants to run because it's been freezing, but today, the temperature miraculously spiked to 68, so shorts it was! Never again. Well, at least not until my thighs don't rub together. Actually, I don't know of a time when my thighs didn't rub together. Is this even physically possible? Something to consider when I don't want to go on Sunday's run....

But seriously, is there a pair of running shorts that won't ride up to ridiculous extremes when a girl with rubbing together thighs runs? I would feel great happiness if there were.

Addendum:
SENSATION #5: GREAT PRIDE!!
I got this text from Dustin-fiance while writing this post: "441.7 calories, 33 minutes. Whew. I'm drenched." He'd been at the gym while I was at the park. I love that man.

Wow, I Smell Really Bad

I just got back from Week 1, Day 2 of Couch to 5K. Yeah, I know, I completed Day 2 a full week after Day 1, but we're going to roll with it. I am tired. I'll be sore tomorrow. I'm sweaty and really, really smelly (like wow, I didn't think my body could smell that bad smelly). But I did it. And I didn't stop early, not even once (not even when I thought I was on the 5-minute walk-to-cool-down bit, and I was surprised with one more "Jog for 30 seconds!" bit)!

So while today was a physically easier, I'm pretty sure my mind wasn't in the right place. When I started running today, I felt like the fat kid at P.E. No matter how overweight I've been, and no matter how out of shape I am, I've never felt like the person that just couldn't do it. Today, I did, and I don't want to feel like that ever again. Last week (and maybe it's because it was still Day 1 and I was being naive), even though I felt like I just.couldn't.keep.running, I tried, and usually made it, and the next time the faster techno music signaled to run for 30 seconds, it didn't occur to me that I might not make it until I was just a few seconds shy from the 30 second mark. This week, I felt like that while I was still walking. So even though this week was actually easier physically than last week, it felt like such a mountainous challenge compared with last week's. And even more, nothing about the routine had changed.

It was all in my head, and I'm not sure why. Even at 214 pounds, with my doctor kindly telling me to get off my ass, I had pretty good self-esteem. I know I'm a gorgeous girl, I'm funny and smart, and even though my body overweight and out of shape, that's not who I am. I wouldn't be able to do this if I didn't love myself (which is why I ALWAYS harp on people who are beating themselves up). So it was just very strange to hear myself thinking "you can't do this; you're too fat; you're not gonna make it; you'll never be healthy or thin" today. It took all of my strength to stop thinking those self-abusive thoughts and search for the things that would encourage me. Today? It was noticing how good my shadow looked while running. At least it looked like it knew what it was doing.

So that's that, then. Week 1, Day 2 DONE. Here's to Friday finally wrapping up Week One of this thing (If I can make it to Friday, it will be the furthest I've ever gotten with C25K--I've started it twice before, and never made it past Day 2).

I ran today.

And while I don't actually look all that proud to have completed Week 1, Day 1 of Couch to 5K here, I actually am. Really proud.

I was watching episodes 2 and 3 of The Biggest Loser on Hulu last night, and I realized something: when it comes to working out, I am a Joelle. And if you've seen this season or even read the play-by-plays, you know this is not a good thing. I give any reason under the sun not to push myself. Now, I don't know how I'd be with a trainer, because I've never had one. I've relied on myself to push myself, and we know how troublesome that can be. "Myself" thinks it's okay to constantly take things slow, and while taking it slow when I'm just starting out is good, but there's a marked difference between "taking it slow" and "taking it nowhere." "Myself" is lazy, likes to be sitting down, and hates to be sweaty, out of breath, and in pain. Which is, of course, the state of things after today's interval training. Who knew that jogging for 30 seconds would be so ridiculously hard for me? But you know what? I did it. Only once did I stop jogging before the 30 seconds was up (I'm using the Podrunner: Intervals Podcast until I can find someting less techno-tastic) and I only stopped a few seconds too soon--maybe 3? Still, I have a feeling that if Bob or Jillian were training me, they'd tear me a new one for those few seconds. Not that I would mind either Bob or Jillian yelling at me. They are the hotness.

So here we go. Week 1, Day 1, done.

If I don't tell you guys on Friday how I did for Week 1, Day 2, I am begging you to kick my ass. I need this. Call yourself Jillian if you have to.