Wow, I've been gone a long time. You forgive me, right?
Clearly, I've gotten off track. I've had (I'm having?) what you'd call motivational issues. It always amazes me how I can look at my body, feel my body, carry around my body and know I'm unhealthy, and yet have no desire to change anything.
Over the past few months, I've pretty much erased any progress I'd made. It disgusts me, but at the same time, I know it will do absolutely no good telling myself I've failed. I don't need to continue this self-destructive cycle.
I need to break it. Make improvements. Get right back on the ole' bandwagon and try again.
Here's the thing: I'm not sure how I want to approach this. I've thought about joining Weight Watchers. I've thought about following Jillian's "plan" she puts forth in "Master Your Metabolism." I've thought about counting calories and macronutrients on SparkPeople.com. I've thought about joining a gym. I've thought about doing workout DVDs and my WiiFit.
But I've tried all these things before, and always, I stop trying after a few months. I don't want to hit rock bottom before I finally make a permanent change, but I can't seem to muster up enough motivation to stick with a program, no matter what kind of program it is. I guess it doesn't make sense to think of "motivation" as a mystical gift I'll wake up with one day. In fact, I've got a sneaking suspicion my "motivation" is something I'll have to work for, scrounge for under the couch cushions of my mind and body.
Some people use their kids, their spouses, the threat of cancer or heart disease, or a big, amazing goal to reach as their motivation. What's yours? (Maybe it will help me find mine.)
2 comments:
Ug...
Motivation... one of my most hated words in the whole dieting cycle.
I don't really know what to tell you... my motivation/inspiration came from a couple of things. I saw a picture of myself at my girlfriend's baby shower and I was actively horrified. Around the same time I was noticing things like I couldn't carry my child for more than about 2 minutes before I had to put her down again and that my jeans were reaching epically huge sizes... and then my doctor told me I was borderline diabetic and had a really good chance of ending up on medication for it Any Time Now...
And then my mother got breast cancer. And I just decided at that point it was time to stop dicking around with my health.
Now, what's kept me there is my bullheaded Taurus nature. I very rarely say I'm going to do something and then don't. I'm actually very careful to commit myself to anything because once I've thrown myself into something, I just CANNOT give it up.
My current bump in the weight loss thing (I'm stuck around 139 pounds and have been for going on 2 months now) is driving me crazy because I said I'd get to 130 pounds and I'm not there, but the harder I try, the less progress I'm making, and everyone's telling me I should just say Good Enough here...
I don't know how to help you... for me, it's a matter of "I decided I was going to do this, and damnit, I'm going to do it." I quit smoking on the same hardheadedness...
Motivation isn't a magic elixir. It wears off. And sometimes you just have to do something you don't want to, no matter how much you don't want to. You may resent it, yes. It's not fun, yes. But going to work doesn't require motivation - very few people jump out of bed saying "Oh, MYGOD, I cannot WAIT to go to work today!" They do it because that's what they DO.
Same, same.
Best of luck!
sS glad you're back!! My motivation was my kids, seeing a picture of myself at my son's b-day party (I still keep this on my fridge) and just knowing that I had to do something to take care of myself and make me happy. Initially I was losing for a friends wedding in which I was the only mom and the only overweight person....then it just totally changed to something clicking for me and I never looked back. So, the point is my "motivation" changes alot! I need this though! Different things to make me keep going. I think my WW meetings helped find and keep motivation, but that is for me....not for everyone!
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