No Surprise

....that after two weeks of struggling to lose even a pound, one day of exercise did the trick. I'm at 194 (still working off that holiday weight!) I should be kicking myself for not getting out there sooner, but this is just encouraging me to get back out there again on Friday (C25K demands a rest day between each training session).

Also, don't hesitate to enter to win Michael Pollan's In Defense of Food! Just go here, and leave a comment!

1st 2009 Weigh-In!

It is absolutely no surprise that I've gone a little crazy this holiday season. I had such grand plans of losing weight over the holidays, and completely forgot that if I don't have a routine, I don't eat healthy foods or exercise.

And living in my parent's house for a month? Definitely means I don't have a routine. So I weighed in today at 196.2, a weight I haven't seen since August. Whoah. Not that I'm surprised, but it's time to quit making excuses and start taking care of yourself again.

Holidays

Christmas is 17 days away. Seriously? Where did all this time go? Oh yes, I remember now, Thanksgiving break ate it all up. I've been shedding the 5 pound gain I had over the break (yeah, I went a little crazy--engagement means a lot of celebration dinners and lunches) and I'm at about 189 right now. I'm working towards getting to my Christmas goal, so maybe I I DEFINITELY need to journal for the next two weeks to really keep me on track. I haven't journaled in such a long time, but I'm not trusting my judgment right now, especially when I get to go home for 5 whole weeks this weekend. Times like these I need a babysitter. A babysitter who can help me lose 6 pounds in 17 days.

Absentee Blogger

Whoah, did a whole week just go by? Not sure how I missed it.

I've been holding steady at 187.0 for the past three days, so I guess I can say I'm there now. I haven't been moving past 190 all week, so I suppose it's a good thing I didn't order that pizza for dinner last night after all, huh? This means I've only got 4 pounds left for my Christmas Challenge! It's gonna be tough with my Thanksgiving trip home in about a week, but I think I can do it. I'm packing my scale and my water bottle.

I apologize for being so absent this week--I've got three 15-20 page papers all due in the next month (each one about a week apart!) so I've been trying to work on those in addition to doing my regular reading/teaching. I feel like I've gotten absolutely nothing done, and each time I try to get started, my brain refuses to cooperate. I didn't make it to the park all week, I haven't cooked as much (or when I have I've not liked what I've cooked), and I think I'm getting the cold that everyone has passed around. Even when I get plenty of sleep at night, I wake up feeling exhausted. At least I'll be going home for Thanksgiving soon, so even though I have a paper due the Monday I return, I'll at least have gotten some family time, and my favorite, cuddle time with Dustin in.

This is what my desk looks like, only with about 15 more books stacked on top:
I need strength and a ghost writer.

Ahem...

Guess who's weighed in at 189 for the past couple of days?

That's right folks, I'm finally out of my 190s. The last time I weighed in in the 180s, I was probably in high school (I remember being 170-ish my freshman year of high school, and 190-ish my freshman year of college).

Christmas Challenge Update: I've lost 9 pounds since whenever it was I started this challenge, and I've got 6 left to lose before Christmas. Only 8 weeks left!! (And three weeks of those eight will be spent with my family and boyfriend, so I've got to be CAREFUL!)

Note to Self: If you would hurry up and incorporate some focused physical activity, those 6 pounds would drop off a lot easier, and you could quit worrying that celebrating the holidays with your family is going to ruin your progress.

Monday Miscellany

Right now, in this moment, I am utterly and profoundly happy. It's 45* outside, my book review is finished a full 4 hours sooner than it's due (I push it close, around here), and my kitties are acting deliciously giddy. Also, Pandora.com has a plethora of Holiday music stations (including a Motown Holiday station which is just rocking my socks off!!!) to listen to so I don't have to keep searching for artists and giving a thumbs down to not-Christmas songs. And yes, I'm still listening to Christmas music. I can't make it stop! Speaking of, I got a Bath and Body Works email this morning advertising their Christmas scents. I don't like their lotions, but I loooooooove the "smells" of Christmas.

Yesterday, I won a sports bra from Gracie's Gear and Roni. I'm so excited!!! I'll let everyone know when I get it and how I like it. It has a zippered pocket! How cool is that? Seriously, I don't know what took people so long to realize that women's clothes aren't nearly practical enough.

I've only got 24 days left until I get to go home FOR A FULL WEEK!!! for Thanksgiving. So while I've got 3 papers and a lecture to work on before then, it's Thanksgiving! I get to go home soon!

I weighed in this morning at 193.4, 187.0, and 190.4. Yeah, I don't know what's going on with that, but I'm going with 190.4, as that isn't a crazy number for me.

All this randomness demands a picture:

Aren't Mondays Grand?

Yeah, maybe not so much. I'm trying, though.

I weighed in today at 191.6. I've been 191.x all week, so I need to step up my game (Read: Stop eating crap and get my ass off the couch!). I literally did not eat anything substantially healthy over the weekend. Nothing. Well, unless you count that can of pears. That was one thing. I didn't even take my vitamins. I am soooo freaking close to the 180s; think I can make it by Friday or Saturday???

Funny thing. I stepped on the scale on Friday, and it read 189.6. I was stoked. So stoked, that I had to step on it again 2 minutes later (literally, two minutes later), and it was up to 191.2. How does that even happen??

Anyway, Dustin's coming to visit this weekend (are you getting that I'm excited yet?). There will be some excessive foody-ness going on, but I'm planning on taking us the park and getting some walking/frisbee playing in (Note to Self: Purchase a Frisbee). I might try to make it out to the Faulkner house with him too, as it doesn't seem right that I live in Oxford, Mississippi, and have yet to try to glean some Faulknerian genius from his house. Wait, he wrote his novels while drunk? Maybe I can glean some genius from that, too. :o)

The Sun Will Come Out... Tomorrow!!

(Was I the only one who wanted to be Little Orphan Annie as a child?)

Yes, folks, I am in a MUCH better mood today. I think I just needed to get it all out of my system. (And get it out of my system I did! My apologies for all the negativity!!)

I'm down to 192 today, so I'm continuing to show some loss this week. I'm only 2 pounds away from getting the Birmingham weekend weight off again. Just in time for Dustin to visit me again in a couple of weekends!! I'm stoked about him coming to Oxford (like, it's all I can think about stoked), but I seriously need to not go overboard while he's here. My aim is to maintain that weekend. Maintenance is so, so good.

This loss puts me at only 9 pounds left before Christmas. There are 11 weeks left, so I still think I can do it. I just have to be careful the weekend Dustin visits, and the week I have off for Thanksgiving. I think if I shoot for maintenance those weeks, I'll still have plenty of room to reach my goal.

Also, I don't get winded anymore when I walk up to my 3rd floor office, and climbing up the huge hill to my normal parking space isn't the monumental journey I thought it was just a little over a month ago. I'm wearing 14s now, and my bras are too big (which isn't a good thing, but it is, too).

So seriously, to all of you who left me happy comments, encouraging comments, sympathizing comments, "Sister, I've been there" comments, thank you. I needed it, and I appreciate how absolutely freaking amazing you all are. THANK YOU!!!

What a Wonderful Weekend

It was so wonderful I gained almost 4 pounds! But I'm really not complaining. I met Dustin in Birmingham for the weekend (our halfway point), and since I probably won't get to see him again until Thanksgiving, it was totally worth it. While there, we "stopped by" an Old Navy (we were there for several hours, as it was a HUGE Old Navy, and had TONS of clothes for me to try on), and I got lots of cute new clothes. I still wear an XL top, and I think I will for a long time, as about the only part of me that hasn't shrunk are my breasts. I keep asking them to shrink, but they refuse. Adamantly. But, the new pair of jeans I bought are 14s, and they're not even ridiculously tight (Old Navy has some weird sizing, though, so I may have just lucked out with the cut and fit I like (Sweetheart rise, Boot Cut)). Even greater for this weekend? I like ALL the pictures of myself. Usually I think I look fat, or pudgy, or bad in that shirt, or something else ridiculous, but I'm really happy with how I look. But since I am at 194.4 this week (before I left I was at 190.x), I've got some work to do. Hopefully it will come off pretty quickly.

Photos taken at the Birmingham Zoo, the Kelly Ingram Park, and the 16th St. Baptist Church (where the 4 little girls were killed in the Sept. 16th, 1963 bombing).

I'm Weighing In on Thursdays Now??

Not really. This is just the 2nd Thursday in a row I've weighed in. I'm down to 191.2 today! I've been at 191.4 almost all week, after a huge losses on Friday and Saturday. Isn't it weird how that works? It's like all of the sudden my body just stops losing. It's almost like it's saying, "Okay, woman, you've made one healthy improvement, let's see another!" I really believe that my body is demanding change from me. And you know what? I love it.

Yesssss!

So, guess what? I'm at 194 today. Which is the *lowest* I've been all year. And probably most of last year, too. I've been eating so well this week, I've had fun watching it pay off. And feeling it pay off, too.

Seeing that number this morning was really great encouragement for me to keep it up. I'll be at school today from 8 am to 7 pm, Thursdays are always really, really difficult for me to get through without wanting to kill someone (teaching 3 sections of sophomores who "hate" literature will do that to a book lover), so I'm determined to remember that 194 can soon be 184 if I just keep with it and don't give up! "Never give up, never, never give up." I am worth this effort. My body deserves it.

You Better Not Pout, You Better Not Cry!

I love Christmas. I'm with Shanna on this one. I can't help it! I listen to Christmas music sporadically throughout the year. The ENTIRE year. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Funny story. I started working at Hallmark the summer before my sophomore year in college. I know everyone makes fun of Hallmark for producing mass sentimentalist sap, I know; I used to be one of them. When I started there in July (right before their huge yearly ornament debut) all my friends and family made fun of me for working in a store so often frequented by overly hormonal women and men looking for last minute gifts for their girlfriends and wives. I think it took only a month for my coworkers to dub me "The Scrooge." And I was. I worked at Hallmark for just short of 4 years, and I hated every Christmas and Easter and Valentine's Day (Oh, Valentine's Day, How I Still Loathe Thee!) I had to suffer through. Then, a year a half ago, I started dating this guy:

And my hatred for Christmas dissolved away into a big soppy love mess on the floor. Seriously. It was, and still is, completely pathetic and goopy and sugarysweetieloviebunchie of me. I can't help it. Something about being in love with the best guy in the universe does that to me. (See? I told you something about him makes me completely bonkers.)

So, imagine my delight when I started seeing festive little badges for Chubby Chick's Christmas Challenge! They look like this----->

And as I looked over the Challenge, which is oh-so-adorably-decorated, I really considered adding my name to the list of participants. I really did! But then I remembered how I not-so-gracefully kept forgetting to check into ThinkingThin's Summer Challenge (I'm so sorry!), and I realized that official group challenges are probably not the best for me. Personal goals? Oh yeah. I think it's the remembering to check in that gets me. I so rarely remember to weigh-in regularly that the organization factor (and it's totally necessary for challenges) gets me every time.

So here's what I'm doing. I'm supporting all the cool people at Chubby Chick's Christmas Challenge in full on Christmas spirit. And I'm following along on my own, when I remember to weigh-in. My Goal? 15 lbs lost by Christmas. There are 15 weeks left until then, so it's not completely undoable. Based on my weight loss trends, a pound a week is high for me (I usually lose about a half-pound in a week), but why not shoot for the Christmas Star Tree Topper here? If I lose 15 pounds by Christmas, that will put me at 30 pounds lost for the year, which is pretty good, in my book (but yeah, there's been a total gap in my weight loss this year!!!). When I make my goal (not if, not IF!), I'm going to look super-fab in all those early-early-morning Christmas pictures. I'm determined. And totally listening to Christmas music right now.

What Day Is It, Again?

I hopped on the scale today, and weighed in at 198, even though I have no idea when my actual 'weigh-in' day is anymore. And you know what? I don't even care. I'm up a pound from whenever I last weighed in, but condidering I had a binge weekend at home in Augusta, I'm okay with that. I went home on Labor Day weekend to celebrate my boyfriend's 25th birthday, and we had a wonderful weekend togther, so that's all that matters.

I'm trying to become more intuitive when it comes to my life, especially with my eating (perhaps that's given me the liberties I've taken with the scale?). I feel like I've got a pretty good handle on what's good for me and what's not (I'm not saying I listen to myself all the time, but I do usually know whether or not something is healthy). I never do well when I feel like I have to force myself to eat at a certain time, or certain foods when I don't necessarily want them, so it's a liberating feeling to try my hand at listening to my body's needs.

That being said, I don't want to slide back into my old habits. So stay on me if you sense I'm being a slacker. That tends to happen.

Note: I've *finally* updated my link lists, so if you've left me a comment recently and don't see your name to the right, PLEASE let me know. I don't want to leave anyone out and I'm all for the building of a happy community here. I've also added the RSS-thinger-ma-jigger, so if that's how you read blogs, that will make it easier on you. I think. Truthfully, I'm not entirely sure how that whole process works.

Those of you who don't use blogger, what do you use and how do you like it? I've been tossing around the idea of setting up a .Mac account and moving this blog around a bit, but I don't have the cash to swing the subscription fee. I'm not entirely satisfied with Blogger right now.

I have no idea how this happened...

But I'm down almost 6 and a half pounds since I weighed in last. I'd love to say I've been doing everything right, but that's a lie, and you all would know it. I have a suspicion that the beautiful "197" won't last long (I'm serious, there has to be something wrong with my scale...), but I'm going to try to keep it around a few weeks more.

I've been struggling with my decision to not journal the foods and exercises I do. In the past, it's kept me on track when everything else has failed, and watching my progress in writing is gratifying, but I simply don't need another thing on my plate (har. har.) right now. I've got 3 discussion classes to lead, and three seminars of my own to do well in. I'm busy meeting new friends (finally!) and trying to learn my way around a new city. And also, I've got these stinkers running around the place now:

I have to spend time with these babies, right?

In the meantime, my pantry and fridge are stocked with healthy foods. My classes are scheduled so that I've got time to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner (which should really make my students like me a whole lot more...).

I still haven't quite gotten the whole gym time thing down yet. One thing at time, though, I wouldn't want to exhaust these two:


I adopted these two on Thursday. And so I don't have to keep calling them 'these two,' I'd like to come up with some names for, well, these two. Help!

All Work and No Play Makes a Grumpy Dieter.

Not that this feels like a diet right now, no way, nuh-uh. 

Remember how I said last week that if I'm not blogging, I'm probably making big unhealthy mistakes? Well, that's not entirely true. It could also mean that I'm too ridiculously busy to even think about blogging. I'm leaving my job on the 25th so I can move to Mississippi, so I've been going through resume after resume, conducting interview after interview, and coordinating schedule after schedule trying to get a replacement in. I started training today, so now things will hopefully be a bit more settled. 

I actually did pretty well on the food front. I didn't have time (or the at-home internet connection) to log all the food I ate, but I think I did fairly well making good, healthy and wholesome choices. I didn't have much exercise time in, but I'm going to pretend that staying at a part time job (9 am - 2 pm) till well after 5 or 6 pm every night counts. 

Explain something to me: I've been weighing myself every day, just to see where I'm missing it. For the largest part of the week, I've been hanging right around 200, just up and down a few tenths of a pound each day. Why, WHY does the scale decide, on Sunday morning, that it's going to suddenly blossom from 200.x to 202.8? It's like it knows when Monday is coming. It's trying to kill me, slowly, by mental torment, I just know it. I didn't eat anything disgusting on Saturday. I even spent almost all of Saturday in activity--packing for my move (and lifting and storing and cleaning and packing again!). That's such a random jump for one day's worth of normal eating and activity. I can't for the life of me figure it out. I'm going to blame it on the scale. It was obviously disturbed by the amount of cardboard filling my house. 

The official, Monday-morning weigh-in was 202.4. 

5 Things

5 Things About Me That Affect My Health:

1. I do not handle stress well. (i.e. I use food to calm me down and make me feel good.)
2. If I do not have a plan for every meal, I will not make good spontaneous decisions.
3. If I mess up early in the week, I will most likely bollox up everything else until the new week starts.
4. I celebrate with food.
5. I rely on others to help me make good decisions, and if I am not blogging or talking to those close to me about decisions concerning my health, I am digging myself into a pit of mistakes.

Let's sum it up:
Stress - Plan - Candid Support --> Stress^2 + Bad Decisions = a 1.8 lb gain + a whole lotta regret + Jabba the Hut-like grodiness.

I'm slowly beginning to realize that I can't treat this as a race, a marathon, or even a competition against myself. I'm in this for my health, for my life, for my happiness. (And I am beyond sick of seeing giant 200's on the scale. Why did I buy a scale with such a large display?)

grumblegrumblegrumble

I need to walk around with bright yellow CAUTION! tape stapled to my ass, cause lately, I've been a bitch. Not the good kind.

In short, I'm busy taking on the world one long distance phone call at a time, and I need a break. From life. Not from being healthy. But someone might consider not-so-gently reminding me that making blondies and eating fast food is *not* a good way to cope with stress. If I eat one more thing that's not healthy, I'm seriously going to audition for the next Star Wars movie. I'd be great playing this guy:

I weighed in yesterday at 200.6, after being at 199.4 the day before. Go figure.

Seriously, Y'all....

Cook everything the Pioneer Woman suggests, because omg, it's good. (And if this English major says "omg" for emphasis, you know it's good. Her recipes are not designed to be calorie friendly, but I'm finding that because she uses simple, everyday, pantry-stuffer ingredients, substitutions are a breeze. A delicious, delicious breeze.

This week has gone really well. I cooked every night except one. (!) I'm finally settling into a routine with my eating, and it's showing! I'm down to 200.4 this week. I just knew I was going to be in the 100's this week, but now I've got a goal for next week. I usually have a tall glass of skim milk and hershey's syrup for breakfast, I graze while I'm at work (500 calories or so) and then eat a dinner with my honey. Oh yeah. I said it, with my honey. God, I'm such a sap. Let me tell you about our dinners, because you all need a love story in the morning, right?? (I know there's at least 2 of us PMSing here...)

This is my honey. We met because of Jazz (his favorite: Ella Fitzgerald. My favorite: Miles Davis). My alma mater (that just sounds fun!!) hosted a yearly event called the Cullum series, and a whole year of events revolved around the theme that they'd chosen. In 2007, it was Jazz. A few academic classes were offered, and there were jazz classes and workshops every week. Dustin and I both took a jazz class, but different ones - he, the history of jazz, myself, the language of jazz. It was in this class I became enamored with Thelonious Monk. I went to Best Buy to get one of his albums, and lo and behold, a cute boy was working. (That's always a good thing, I don't care how old and taken you are.) This cute boy had been in my Shakespeare class a few semesters previous, but because he felt the need to advertise his fraternity with every t-shirt he put on, I thought he was a douchebag. Luckily for him, he was wearing a Best Buy shirt, and not a Delta Chi one, because I was willing to talk to him for hours on end. About jazz. About organized religion. About the inability to dance. About being fat kids at heart. About how much I instantly liked him and wanted to knock him on his feet with smooches. Wait, we didn't talk about that last one, but I felt it. I walked out of Best Buy that day full of all the silliest emotions we love so much. I called my brother (who worked appliances at Best Buy) and asked if he knew him. "Yeah, he's cool," came his praise. Before I left him standing at a CD tower, we promised to look for each other at the next show. I've never agonized over what to wear to a jzz show, or whether or not to show up early or late, or if I should let him find me, or if I should find him, but pretend that I hadn't, or if red lipstick would be a bit much for this??, but after that concert, in which he deftly acknowledged my fidgety nature, we were inseparable. When he, unawares, bought 2 rounds on our first date that just happened to be my 2 favorite beers ever, I knew he was mine.
And now? Now we eat dinner in our PJs, and at 9:00 at night. But we eat dinner together. We eat dinners with the food that he bought, and that I put together. And we eat it while listening to jazz. When Dustin first moved in with me, we were really bad about sitting down with dinner in front of the TV. We were also really bad about going out to eat all the time. But now? Now we enjoy the food we eat, and we enjoy it with Miles Davis in the background. It gives us time to enjoy each other, too. And talk. And stare at each other dumbly. And tell stupid jokes. And kiss until our food goes cold. It's a wonderful thing.

Monday Morning Weigh-In

I'll try this week, I promise. I'm up 1 pound to 205 this week, but I'm not letting it bother me. I was on vacation Thursday-Sunday last week, so only a pound gain while lounging at the beach is nothing to be worried about. I am going to lose it this week, though, and hopefully more. 

This week's personal challenge: No sodas! Only water, milk, tea, and lo-cal, lo-sugar juices. (I'm still motivationally challenged, so I'm going to give myself a weekly challenge to meet. If you'd like to join in, go for it. I could use the support.)

And now, for your viewing pleasure, a few highlights of our trip...

Monday Morning Weigh-In

I'm still getting used to the idea of a Monday morning weigh-in. Frankly, I've been so out of practice that I completely forgot to step on the scale today... until, that is, I'd gotten out of the shower, put on my clothes, ate breakfast, and still had my wet hair wrapped up in a towel. (Did I mention that I've still got residual period bloat and it's 93F and humid outside and my hair holds a lot of water and I was wearing really heavy clothes???) Okay, I'm making excuses for my 3 pound gain this week. I'm at 204.

This is not a good start to the summer block party challenge...