Fashionable-ish

For anyone that's interested in fashion, especially what clothes look like on a real body, I'm blogging my daily threads over at Teacher Clothes.

It's kind of sparse right now (still getting things set up as I figure out WordPress), but more is definitely to come.

Good Times!

So no news is good news over here. I haven't been focusing too much on trying to lose weight but right now, almost everything in my kitchen is organic, locally grown, and healthy. I'm not trying to force myself into my old healthy regimen too quickly--I'm taking it slowly, making gradual changes, with the goal of adopting them into a lifetime of healthiness.

But here's what I have been doing lately:

Dancing ON A BAR with friends. Yes. On a bar. I don't even dance on the floor, usually, so on top of a bar was a big event.
Teaching my first *solo* comp class:

Hanging out with the best fiance in the universe (at the Memphis, TN zoo in this one):
Buying this red couch without using my credit card:

Getting ready for my parents' visit this weekend (mostly cleaning and pretending I do laundry on a regular basis):


I have blessed life.

Big Girls Don't Cry...Usually

Let's face it: I'm a slacker. I've lost my mojo. Sometimes, I honestly don't care anymore.

In the past three weeks, I've only cooked about 3 meals at home. I can't tell you the last time I exercised. I don't even want to look at my scale. I don't have to. I can feel my body creeping back to what it was last January. Heavy, inflexible, unhealthy.

I know that's not what I want to be, but I cant seem to buckle down and do what needs to be done. I'm not sure what it's going to take. Whenever I try to get back on track, I last for about a week, and then something will come up and I'll be right back into my old habits again. It's like I can't even convince myself anymore that I want to be healthy. It's not even a matter anymore of wanting to be fit and healthy and struggling to find energy to do that; it's a matter of me not even caring that I'm fat and out of shape. How do you get over that?

I realize that I'm fully responsible for what goes into my mouth, and what I choose to do with my body, and I recognize that I can't blame my repeated backsliding on anything but my choices, but let's face it. This is hard to do alone. I don't have the person that helped me lose so much weight last year. And I need to find a way to do this without Dustin dragging my ass to the gym every other day.

The way I see it, I've got a few options. I can force myself to do this on my own--through SparkPeople/Daily Plate/Lose It!/Wii/Park/DVDs/blogging. I can join Weight Watchers and try that again (it's been three years since I joined, and I'm willing to try again). I can join a gym and hope the cost in fees will keep me going.

I'm not trying to be whiny and annoying, but none of those options sound appealing to me. I need to care again, and I'm not sure why I don't.

Teacher Clothes

I'm so glad I don't look like any of the professors I've had. I'm probably too young to know any better, though. 
>

Top and Skirt: New York and Co.

Shoes, Bracelet, and Necklace: Vintage, thrifted

B&Lu, I love you.

Remember when I drooled over some pretty clothes? Well, I ordered some pretty clothes. And guess what? B&Lu lived up to my every expectation.

I got these things:Layla Dress, $58

Raquel Dress, $59
(I thought about returning this dress, as it's too sexy to teach in, and I don't ever go anywhere worthy of such a nice dress. But I think I'll keep it. I feel sexy in it, so someone needs to invite me to a wedding or something, pronto.)

Juliet Top, $21

(See? Told you I have a nice butt.)

Motivation #2: That Damn White Dress

You knew it'd come back to this, right? I'm getting married, and I want to wear a wedding dress. But finding a wedding dress isn't like finding any other dress (and even finding any other dress isn't exactly a fun process).

I tried on wedding dresses for the first time a few days ago. I can't post all the pictures, because Dustin reads this blog, and has asked not to see any dress I might wear, but here is how most of the dresses were attached to my body as I was trying them on:

Hello, back fat! I'd forgotten you were there.

That's not even a size 6 sample dress. I went to David's Bridal, where they try to carry a range of sizes for their sample gowns. That dress is a European size 14 (which really, is more like a 12 US, but still). That dress zipped up about 2 inches before it had to be held up with clothespins. Beneath the clothespins is a boned long-line bra, and beneath that was a control slip. You'd think with all that extra control, a size 14 dress wouldn't have needed all the extra clothespins.

Now listen, I recognize the pitfalls in making one of my motivations an article of clothing. Even if that article of clothing is my wedding dress. (Or perhaps *especially* if that article of clothing is my wedding gowns. I'm conflicted when it comes to the supposed importance of the dress...)

But still, I would *really* like to be able to try on wedding gowns that aren't held together in a way MacGyver would respect. And when I look at my wedding pictures, I don't want to be thinking "Man, I really should have done more dumbbell rows," or "Wow, I guess those weekly fast food runs really do show up." I want to be thinking about how beautiful I feel, and how much I love Dustin.

After this day of dress shopping, I didn't feel excited. I felt depressed and upset with myself because I'd let myself forget what's important to me: not so much a dress, as starting my marriage off as a healthy and thriving woman. When I go back for another dress search, sure, there may be clothespins holding the dress in place (I'm not expecting miracles here), but I want to feel as if I've done everything in my power to be that healthy and thriving woman I want and need to be.

Recipe--Tomato Spinach Feta Pasta

I have a friend named Suzanne. Suzanne is my friend for many reasons: she's smart as a whip, we have the same tastes in clothes and music, and she utters phrases like "I'll cut a bitch," and "Bitch, be for real" with great frequency. But most of all, she's a great cook.

When she gave me this recipe, it cemented our friendship, and I vowed to never let her go. There's no good name for this, but it takes about 15 minutes to make, refrigerates well, is super healthy as long as you don't overdo it with the pasta (use whole grain, or at least whole wheat), and cleanup's a snap (only 2 pans, nothing sticky or burned).

You'll need (for 1 lunch or 2 sides):

• Olive Oil (enough to saute garlic)
• 1/2-1 tsp minced garlic (if you're too cool for the stuff in the jar, 1-2 cloves, minced)
• 1/2 cup chicken broth
• 1 Roma tomato, chopped OR a handful of cherry tomatoes, halved
• ~1 cup baby spinach (more if you really, really like spinach)
  
• 4 oz. whole grain pasta
• a couple of ounces of feta cheese, crumbled (I use approx. 2 oz because I love the feta)
• Some upbeat jazz music; flamenco will work nicely, too.
  

1. Put your water on to boil. Don't wait to do this or the timing won't come out magically.
   
2. In olive oil, saute your garlic.
3. When garlic is golden brown, throw in tomatoes. Let sit just a minute or so.
4. Add in chicken broth. Let it cook down for a few minutes. Your water should be boiling now, so go ahead and throw in your pasta.
   
5. When the pasta is almost ready (your tomatoes should be soft, but not mushy); add in spinach, small handfuls at a time.
   
6. Stir constantly. The aim here is to let the spinach wilt, but just a little.
   
7. Drain pasta; toss with spinach/tomato mixture (you may also want to drain the broth).
8. Sprinkle with feta; serve. This is great both hot and cold, and it's totally good the next day (but not the third...not that it will make it to the third day).

See? Delicious.