Monday, January 21, 2008

Starting Out...Again

I don't know why I feel compelled to start a blog devoted to my weight loss. There are a thousand other dieting/exercise/health & fitness blogs out there devoted to this, and my contribution to the genre will be small. I suppose my motivations are these: Firstly, blogging is public, and to some degree, a method of accountability. Not that I know anyone who'll read this, but the fact that it's publicly viewable is enough. Secondly, I think networking is important. Being able to read about other people's sucesses, foibles, and stories really grounds me. It connects me to people I wouldn't otherwise be connected to, and better, we happen to be working for the same things. So add me to your blogroll, leave me some comments, and settle in. (Was that shameless enough?)

So what exactly are the things I'm working for? To lose weight, obviously. But more directly, to look as I feel. There are times my body doesn't cooperate with me, and it's because of all the extra pounds I'm carrying around. I want to feel well, to feel attractive and sexy and so ridiculously comfortable in my own skin I'd walk in the bar naked. Some of the bullet-points on the last page of my "Fat Lil' Notebook" are little black dresses and red high heels, the ability to shop anywhere, unhesitant leaps into my baby's arms, and "for his eyes only" photos in a drawer. So although I have a number in mind, it serves only to give me something tangible to grapple for. 150 pounds is the recommended body weight for me, but if I feel comfortable at 166.78, that's fine with me.

I started Weight Watchers two days ago. I've done the program before, for several months in preparation for a powder blue bridesmaid's dress. I lost 15 or so pounds, a pant size, and several ill-fitting shirts. That was two years ago, and since then, I've gained steadily. But okay, no guilt, it was two years ago that I got off track. Two days ago, I got back on it. It's been okay so far. It's a struggle, craving the impromptu breakfast runs at McDonald's, the burger dinners, and heavy on the cream-sauce pasta dates and going for SpecialK, veggie soup, and glasses of water instead. Saturday, I was right on track; Sunday, foiled by leftover snack foods, and today, I've eaten so damn healthily that I've got 13 points left in the day. This is going to be interesting.

As an aside, talking about losing weight is hard to do without being incredibly trite. Already in this post, I've tried to avoid using the phrases "weight loss journey," "diet program," "goal-setting," and "hard work and dedication."