Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Support Like a Jog Bra

I opened my Lil' Fattie (the unlabeled, inconspicuous, navy blue, 200 sheet, 5.5"x3.4" notebook in which I track my food, exercise, and water intake for the day) to yesterday's page for review. This is a breakdown of what I see:
Salad: 0 - 24
Lo-Fat French (2 servings): 2 - 22
Granola Bar: 4 - 18
1 C. Skim Milk: 2 - 16
Yo Baybuh's Love: 0!!! - 16!!!
Baked Lays Doritos: 3 - 13
Roly Poly #13: 6 - 7

I don't exactly remember consuming my "baybuh's love," unless it be his endless support I revel in each day. My boyfriend (read: baybuh) has been a real trooper in my efforts to shed my middle. He helped me throw out all the junk in my pantry (he wasn't just okay with it, he helped me throw out the cookies, salt and vinegar chips, and full-calorie sodas that he so loves). He eats what I eat, no matter how much of it is veritable rabbit food. Although he despises vegetables (he credits this hate to their texture when cooked, no matter how gently), he chowed right through the 0-point, ALL-veggie soup I made. He chowed slowly, he chowed reluctantly, he chowed with much swilling of water, but he chowed. He never once verbally complained (his grimace, though, gave him away).

The reason I was able to stick to a diet two years ago was the support of my mom, who joined it with me, and my best friend, who was the bride who asked me to wear a powder blue bridesmaid dress (despite my previous misconceptions about powder blue, it was actually a cute dress). I was not particularly interested in dieting when I did, and once I got out of the dress, I didn't have any interest in continuing. But when I was trying to lose weight, both of these ladies bounced recipes, gripes, cravings, and ideas off of me, and I them. I felt guilty if I cheated around them. They never expressed their love and support of me in my lil' fattie, but it was there, underneath the print, behind the motivations.

I suppose that I'm reaffirming the support I have in my life. People do support me, even the one that will end up having to eat his mayo-laden sandwiches and regular Dr. Pepper outside the house. They support me because they think I can do it. I can lose 50 pounds. That's a great feeling.